New York Bar

New York Bar

Frank was getting ready to go on a trip to New York for the first time and was talking to his friend Bill.

Bill: “While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to. When you walk through the front door, you are handed a free drink. Then you can go to the back room and get laid. Come back up to the bar, and you get another free drink. Then you can get laid again. It goes on like this all night.”

Frank: “That sounds unbelievable. Have you really been there?”

Bill: “No, but my sister has.”

Drunk cowboy

One night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. 
He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink. 
While drinking he asked the bartender if there was a room and any women around. 
The bartender told him he had a room for rent and then glanced over to his friends drinking at another table.
They decided to play a joke on the cowboy. As the evening drug on, the cowboy became very drunk but was still asking about a woman.

Finally the bartender sent his friends upstairs on a mission and they returned shortly. 
Then the bartender told the cowboy that they only had one woman there but she was upstairs waiting on him. 
(the bartender's friends had carried a blow-up doll upstairs and placed her in his bed) 
At this point the cowboy bid everyone good night and slowly climbed the stairs. 
Filled with anticipation he approached the room and went inside as the men downstairs listened with great interest. After a few moments, they heard the bed springs squeaking and moans of pleasure coming from the room The roared with laughter.
Then everything was quiet. Not being able to sleep with anticipation of the coming morning, the men decided to play poker through the night and await the man coming down the next morning.

As he came down the stairs, they noticed a strange look on his face. They asked: "Well, cowboy, how was the woman." He hesitated, then answered: "Man, that was the best piece of ass I ever had, but the strangest thing happened." After I screwed her, I bit her on the titty and she farted and flew out the window and I haven't seen her since. 

Battle of the sexes

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

Truth about sex

mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”