Diamond Lelulk - golden mile

$5. Cheap and hood

Rhyme

Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think......
Its a Teabag

Boogaloo

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.

The chief walks to the men and says, ” What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?” The first man thinks for a second and replies, “I choose Boogaloo”.

The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant “boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo”. The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up the ***.

The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, “You must choose, Death or Boogaloo”?

The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, “I choose death”.

The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, “Death by boogaloo!!!”

Monkeys growing hairs

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.

Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled.

At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”

Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”

Football Fan

To all the Liverpool fans😎😀:

Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans.

Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'

'Because I'm not a Liverpool fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpool

fan,then who are you a fan of?'

'I am a Chelsea fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Chelsea fan?'

'Because my mum is a Chelsea fan, and my dad is a Chelsea fan, so I'm a Chelsea fan too!'

'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Chelsea fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time...

What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what

would you be then?'

'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpool fan."

Blonde !

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."

Hurricane and palm tree

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? 

A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job